The Eye Twitch

It happened.

As of today, I have completed the rite of passage to become a 2^nd year SoderFellow. It was subtle, unforeseen, and even delicate. I was calmly sitting in the back of the room during a program I am coordinating, working on material for another upcoming project. All of a sudden, I felt a faint flutter in my left eye. Was it the air ventilating through the room? Maybe just an abrupt blink? How about a bug that decided to quiver across my eyelid?

No.

This was the infamous eye twitch.

A seasoned 2^nd-year SoderFellow had warned me of the longstanding tradition of developing eye twitches approximately 3-6 weeks after Christmas break. It is widely acknowledged as a response to no longer being the new kid on the block. I have now been in the fellowship program long enough to be considered fluent in my responsibilities and fully immersed in my role.

The eye twitch appears when a SoderFellow has doubled up on graduate classes, has long term projects, a full-time job, a social life, and as we introverts call it, “iTime” (introvert time, that is), all fighting for playing time in the game of life. To simplify, it means you’re busy. And stressed.

The first response—often times the one most desired—is to succumb to the stress. Cry, scream, burnout, escape, disengage.

Or there is the second option: you laugh…and smile. Today, I saw my eye twitch as a milestone. I had, in a sense, made it. I had reached the point these weathered SoderFellow veterans had spoken of. I was deep into my responsibilities but even more so, I realized my responsibilities had become my passions.

I’m thankful that today, on a cold, snowy, unassuming February day, I am participating in an experience that is much greater than myself. And it excites me. I am so grateful that what I do right now has enough significance to cause my eyelid to flutter, and in turn, remind me that doing something I love is worth every single eye twitch.

When debating which response you’ll choose when you feel the eye twitch, I vouch for the latter.

By Ali Lewis, First Year Soderquist Fellow